Finding A New Normal

Just dropped the boy off for the first day of 1st grade.  For the first time in nearly 7 years (if you count pregnancy) he is not on me, by me or within 100 feet of me.  With the few exceptions of over night with the grandparents and a couple of work trips he has never been away from me for more than 8 hours. Now he has to go to school everyday, all day.  I don't know what to do with myself or how to cope.

Don't get me wrong, there are times when I want to ship him off because he is driving me crazy but at the same time I have that need to protect him.  I won't be there to remind him to wash his hands and to prevent him from picking up germs from other kids.  I won't be there to help him when he gets frustrated with school work.  I won't be there when other kids are being mean (something he doesn't pick up on well, thank goodness).  And for the first time in his life I (or another family member) is not in charge of his lunch situation.  That is a strange feeling.

I am looking forward to the 'me' time for sure.  With new responsibilities at work I have a LOT to do.  And as you can see I haven't blogged in almost a year.  One reason is the 'picture a day' for a year project took it out of me a little but also because the last year has been totally nuts for me.  It will be nice to get time to do all the stuff then I can concentrate on him when he gets home.  Instead of me trying to get it all done, not succeeding and having to make up for it when he is home.

This is just all a large change for me.  I don't do well living in the moment and I am always fearful I will forget to stop and take it in and remember the moment.  It is a constant struggle for me.

So here is to finding a new normal while looking thru the tears of the morning.  Boombots, I love you more than I can express and I am so proud of you.  Have fun in school and I will see you at 3:05!